klisemfg Chapter 69 The Old Emperor Hired a Fake Taoist Priest
Chapter 69 The Old Emperor Hired a Fake Taoist Priest
[On the 30th day of the month, Renshen, the Emperor reviewed memorials in the Yanying Hall. He was in a bad temper, sometimes uttering a single word "Get out," sometimes two words "Bastard," and sometimes three words "Damn it."]
The old emperor, who was furious from reviewing the memorials, calmed down a bit.
Then I thought, why should he put up with this?
The old emperor threw down the memorial in his hand and said to Shen Zhiyi, "Come here."
Shen Zhiyi, who was still writing the daily records, looked at the old emperor beside her in confusion.
"Your Majesty, what are your orders?"
"Come here and see how I approve this."
Even the palace maids and eunuchs around him, who usually had expressionless faces, showed a slight crack.
The emperor actually had a court attendant review the memorials.
What a great blessing!
[That good old emperor actually made me do something so likely to offend people.]
Shen Zhiyi was bitter inside, but she still had to smile and thank the emperor for his great favor.
She bah!
The old emperor didn't care what Shen Zhiyi was thinking; he simply handed all the memorials from the Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices to Shen Zhiyi.
Shen Zhiyi took a look.
Wow, this guy is amazing!
[Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices: Your Majesty, good morning?]
[The old emperor: I am fine.]
[Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices: Your Majesty, is it good afternoon?]
[The old emperor: I am well.]
[Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices: Your Majesty, good night?]
[The old emperor: I am perfectly fine.]
[Hahaha, you can practically see the old emperor gritting his teeth in those last few words.]
Shen Zhiyi suppressed a laugh and discovered that the Taichang Temple Minister's writings were all just greetings and had no substance whatsoever.
The old emperor glanced at Shen Zhiyi and chuckled, "You'll be crying later."
"You should approve all of that bastard's memorials."
"what?"
As lunchtime approached, Shen Zhiyi's hands were about to break from writing so many comments.
[Waaaaah, this is inhuman work! Waaaaah, help! I've never suffered this much when I was punished by copying characters in elementary school! Ugh! Damn old emperor! Damn Minister of the Court of Imperial Sacrifices! Why did you have to write so many greetings?!]
Shen Zhiyi is going crazy.
The next day, when the grand court session was held, the long-absent, cold sun appeared in the sky.
However, due to the still cold weather, the morning court session was rescheduled for the afternoon.
[On the day of Dingwei in the twelfth month of the twentieth year of Emperor Taizong's reign, the Emperor ascended the Taihe Hall and presented a memorial exempting him from punishment.]
After writing a paragraph, Shen Zhiyi quickly stuffed her hands into her sleeves and began to let her mind wander.
[That old emperor actually brought a Taoist priest over yesterday! This is terrible! Is the once-thriving Great Ye Dynasty about to decline?]
The old emperor was extremely displeased with these words.
Soon, the censors who heard Shen Zhiyi's thoughts offered their advice.
The passage uses classical allusions to illustrate that emperors who were obsessed with immortality ultimately met with bad ends.
[Wow, these tattletale officials are really well-informed. The Taoist priest entered the palace late last night, and they already know. But it seems the old emperor didn't seek the Taoist priest for his own immortality.]
So, the old emperor found this Taoist priest for the empress.
The censors who had been remonstrating with the old emperor, spitting as they spoke, silently shut their mouths.
—Shen Zhiyi, couldn't you have read it a little faster and more comprehensively next time?!
As winter approached, the Empress's already poor health worsened, and she slept more than usual, which frightened the old emperor so much that he began seeking out Taoist priests.
This is called "grasping at straws when you're desperate."
The old emperor pursed his lips, intending to ignore Shen Zhiyi's words completely.
If those incompetent doctors in the Imperial Medical Academy could cure the Empress, would he have bothered to bring in a Taoist priest?
[It's one thing to try anything, but why did you have to go to a fake Taoist priest?!]
What the hell?
The old emperor, who had originally intended to ignore Shen Zhiyi, began to listen intently.
With the shrewd former Minister of Personnel no longer there to try and salvage the old emperor's position, the entire Hall of Supreme Harmony was eerily quiet.
The old emperor was in a state of confusion. How could he have made a mistake? The Dragon Scale Guards had done background checks.
[The old emperor certainly didn't know that the Taoist priest he was originally looking for had died on the way, so his servants picked up the scrap and brought back a fake one. They even fed and treated him well last night! Hahaha, old emperor, you're such a sucker!]
The old emperor clenched his fists in anger.
He's always the one who tricks others, but now someone else is tricking him!
After laughing for a while, Shen Zhiyi saw something else, and her expression became subtle.
[How strange, how did this fake Taoist priest manage to secretly meet with the Third Prince, Cheng Wang, at Taiye Pond?]
Let me see what they're saying.
Good heavens, this fake Taoist priest is having an affair with Prince Cheng!
The old emperor vanished from his dragon throne in a flash.
Shen Zhiyi was completely unaware of this, and was instead in a state of extreme excitement.
Good heavens, good heavens! Everyone else uses money and beauty to win people's hearts, and you, as king, certainly did use beauty to win people's hearts, but how could you do it yourself?
"hiss!"
"I go!"
A rustling sound came from among the court officials.
[Haha, anyone passing by that biggest tree on the southeast side of Taiye Pond? My goodness, Prince Cheng, you can go up there yourself, but why are you the one at the bottom?]
【Hey, take it off! Take it off!】
Shen Zhiyi silently closed her eyes and silently recited in her heart.
Do not look at what is improper.
Shen Zhiyi, who had silently recited "Do not look at what is improper" a hundred times, finally couldn't help but open one eye.
That one open of my eyes led to a lively scene.
[Hahaha, holy crap, the old emperor kicked Prince Cheng in the butt!]
That was really strong; it left a footprint right on the other person's butt.
But...
Shen Zhiyi closed her eyes, covered her stomach with her right hand, lowered her head, and laughed until her entire shoulder was shaking.
I can't take it anymore, this is hilarious!
All the officials: Shen Zhiyi, what did you see? Keep telling us!
What exactly happened next?
Surely the old emperor didn't go there to break them up, but instead went to join them?
[Old Emperor, next time you kick someone, could you pick a better time? There's something going on in the mortal realm.]
Your kick was like a nail that was only halfway into a small hole, now it's firmly planted and can't be pulled out.
[Old Emperor, you still have the nerve to tell them to separate? How are they supposed to be separated? Hahahaha.]
Shen Zhiyi's stomach started to hurt from trying so hard to suppress her laughter.
The old emperor on the other side also quickly noticed this, and he took a step back and walked to the side of the two.
"Don't move."
As soon as he finished speaking, the old emperor kicked the two men in the side.
The next second, a scream echoed throughout the entire palace.
Wow, it broke!
The entire court of officials gasped in shock, those with weaker willpower bent over, feeling a dull ache in certain areas.